Thursday, June 21, 2012

Come On Baby Light My Fire

Once upon a time, my Auntie Yvonne was married to my Uncle Benny.  Aunt Yvonne is an artist and back in the 1960's she used to hire nude models to come sit for her.  One afternoon, Uncle Benny came home from work, strolled into the living room to find my aunt sketching away with a female nude posed in a nearby chair.  He nonchalantly assumed a comfortable position leaning against the kitchen stove.

As my aunt is busily working on the portrait, she smelled something funny.  She glanced toward Uncle Benny and saw his shirt was on fire.  Uncle Benny was totally unaware of what was happening as his attention was directed elsewhere.  Aunt Yvonne got up very carefully so as not to alarm my uncle and walked over to the kitchen sink about to grab a bowl of some kind to fill with water and douse the fire.

About this time Uncle Benny felt the flames licking up his back and ripped off his shirt, buttons flying in every direction!

Or,

Once upon a time, my Aunt Yvonne was married to my Uncle Benny.  Aunt Yvonne is an artist and did do nude drawings but this has nothing to do with my uncle's shirt catching on fire.  Uncle Benny came home from work one day, strolled into the kitchen to find Aunt Yvonne ironing his shirts.  He assumed a comfortable position leaning against the oven and proceeded to watch her and talk about his day.  They recently had a baby, my cousin, Jimmy.  Baby Jimmy is very hungry.  Heating on the stove top in a pan of water is a baby bottle for Jimmy.

Directly in front of Uncle Benny, approximately 4 feet away, is a window.  He glanced out this window and lo and behold he could see his reflection.  Oh my, his shirt was on fire!  The flames were licking up his back side and by this time he can feel it burning his skin.

He hastily ripped off his shirt and buttons flew in every direction. 

Which story do you believe is true?  My father told me the first one but my aunt confirmed that this is not the case and it happened exactly like the second story.

Me thinks my Uncle Benny must have elaborated and told my father the more interesting and exciting story of the nude woman.  ha ha

My dad still insists that Aunt Yvonne told him the first story and that she wanted to first check the life insurance policy because she was thinking of letting him burn.  Burn Baby, Burn.  ha ha

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