My Michael, Michael S. Moulthrop...My Love to You, Honey

My husband had two names. He was known around town as Mike, the barber and as Michael, the photographer.

Michael Moulthrop 1941 - 2017

I met Michael in 1989 when I moved from Alameda to this area and he became the barber to my two sons. For years I took them to Mike for haircuts and every time I was there, I would look up from my book or magazine and catch Mike staring at me in his mirrors. It seemed he was always watching me. He had mirrors above the length of his backbar and to the left of him was a large round mirror so that when he spun the customer around in his chair, he could see how the haircut was coming along. I really didn't know why he always stared at me and years later he told me that he couldn't keep his eyes off me.

In Mike's Barber Shop was a shelf that ran the perimeter of the room and on it, sat all these ducks and birds. Some were antique ducks, and the others were Mike's hand carved ducks and birds. Here's some samples of birds that he carved.

The two little ducks on a log is carved from one solid tree branch. For the life of me I cannot remember the name of the tree he said this was from but I remember him saying it had to be this one particular tree to do this.

Mike was known as the best barber in town. If some guy had his wife cut his hair or he went to some place like Supercuts, and got his hair all screwed up, they would always run to Mike to fix it. Sometimes Mike would point out bad haircuts to me. He'd say something like, "That guys wife sure screwed his hair up." He taught me what to look for in a good classic men's haircut and to tell the difference between a beauty shop haircut verses a barber shop haircut. I will always remember the things he taught me about men's haircuts and what to notice. You wouldn't think so, but there is a big difference. However, not all barbers are good ones. That's another thing he taught me. So, you have to find a good barber like Mike.

In 1995 Michael asked me to work for him part time as a photographer's assistant and for no particular reason, I turned him down. The next year he asked me again and I said yes. We worked well together and developed a rhythm as a team doing weddings and family portraits. We became friends. By mid 1997 we realized there were deeper feelings involved. The age difference bothered him and it worried him more than it did me. He wanted to make sure I'd be happy. Everything just clicked with us and I was happier than ever just being near him. I was like a magnet to him and he to me.

Michael had a white lace prop dress in his photography studio that he wanted to photograph me in and one day we drove to the Marin Headlands. Here's a couple of photos from that day. It was foggy and I think the fog added a dreamy quality to the photographs. Fog has the best lighting conditions.

We were married in January, 2000. Mike always wanted what was best for me and he would do anything for me. I felt truly loved and cherished. Michael cherished me.

Mike and I worked hard at whatever we did, that was one of the many things we had in common. He had his barber shop and I had a day spa that I owned at Rockville Corners in Suisun Valley. The wedding and family portrait business was our side job and it kept us busy locally and even traveling as far as Idaho to do a wedding. Almost everyone wanted us to do their wedding or family portrait. Our phone was always ringing and our answering machine was always full of messages. We also did corporate parties and New Years Eve parties and danced the night away. What fun memories I have of those days. I used to dance circles around Mike on the dance floor.

Around 2002, we began buying houses and flipping them, doing the work ourselves along with the help of our good friend, Greg. We kept that up until the market crashed and we ended up losing all we had invested. That was a hard time for us emotionally because we had to walk away from a vacation rental house we had on the coast in a development south of Mendocino called Irish Beach.  It is a lovely community with private beach access and close to all the quaint little towns on the coast.

Michael and I did everything we could to keep from losing that house. We were selling his blue herons and my paintings by the side of the road (like a couple of gypsies) in Marin almost every weekend. We didn't get permission, we just found a vacant lot beside a busy road going into Marin and set up our stuff next to the truck. People would stop to buy our things and that helped us keep the house in Irish Beach afloat. We had many good memories to forever keep in our hearts of those days spent with our friends in Irish Beach.

After that, we began our shop on Etsy which grew quite fast and we made a little name for ourselves. Honey's Treasures has kept us busy through the years and we enjoyed doing the woodworking together and coming up with new furniture designs. We were both creative and worked as a team in whatever we did. We kept our friends on their toes because they would say, "You're doing WHAT now!?" I think they cracked up at all the stuff we were into, always some new adventure. They never knew what to expect.

Being the art lovers that we are, in 2016 we attended the Carmel Plein Air Art Festival. That is where I fell in love with the idea of painting on location. I'd never really thought about painting like that before and was dying to get home to try it. That was it, I was hooked. Out of the blue, Michael decided he wanted to be a painter like me and so he started painting, too. We joined a local plein air group and eventually I began my own group because I wanted to choose the painting locations.

Here's a few of my husband's paintings.

He painted our granddaughter from an old photograph we took. This is a cute (and true) story.  Michael wanted Angelina to peek through the fence and the post was full of caterpillars. She was more than a little freaked out and I had to be right there with her to the side, coaxing her to focus on the flowers and do the pose. She did it but not without a lot of tears.

I love his cows. 

He was thrilled to get into an art show in Sacramento with his Puffin with Sardines painting.

He was getting quite good in under a year of practice.

Here's some of Mike from our plein air adventures.

Big Break Regional Park.

Greenbrae.

Sutter Creek.

Mt. Diablo.

Gosh, how I miss that man. The sweet smell of him. His voice. If only to hear his voice again. The way he would caress my face and call me Darling.

The romantic way he would suddenly stop in the middle of wherever, simply walking down the street in whatever town we were in and he'd say to me, "Hey, I bet you've never been kissed here before." He would then pull me into his arms and kiss me. God, I loved that. He was the most original and romantic man I've ever known.

I miss being able to wrap my legs around his at night. To sit in his lap. If only to look upon his face once more. To be able to talk to him again. I want to hear him tell me things will be alright.

My future without Michael...

Michael used to tease me, "Oh, you'll be married within a year when I'm gone." I'd tell him that I don't think so.

I don't know what the Lord has planned for me. In grieving the loss of a loved one, I think a person can choose to go down a couple of paths. They could stay put in their suffering and become stuck in a time warp of their own making or they can get on with things and live. I choose to live. Michael would want that for me. Mike wasn't selfish. He would want me happy and I know that and accept it. It doesn't mean I'm grieving any less, it means that I realize life will go on with or without me and I want it to be with me.

From the beginning, I've forced myself to stay active and involved with friends and family, going places and not shutting myself off from the world even though I wanted to die. I wanted to find a hole and crawl into it. At times I still do. The woodworking business, my family and friends and my plein air painting are my salvation to staying sane. Staying busy is helping me and that makes sense to me.

Michael and I were special together. Do I believe that there is only one true love for us as humans? I don't think so. The reason I believe this is because God's Word tells us that widows and widowers can remarry and if there was only one true love for us here on earth He wouldn't have said this.

I don't know the who or when or why of it, it's in God's hands. I'm not ready yet but I am willing, in time, the right time, to allow love into my very tender and aching heart again.

In the meantime, I have things to keep me occupied.